Humbly Yours

I am a stay at home mom.  I am also a first year homesteader.  This equals "duck" boots (hiking boots with the water proof shoe) becoming my new staple foot wear.  I do don the flippies for excursions out into the dreaded public...  but That's if I don't forget to take off my slippers before running the kids into school after they've missed the bus (4 1/2 weeks running).  I lounge in Pj bottoms and scrub pants and too big t-shirts with stretched out sports bras the only thing keeping me from announcing to the world what boobies look like after nourishing 6 kids AND having an augmentation.  It's not as pretty of a result as I had hoped for.  My hair has been cropped above shoulder length (as per hubby's request and I will NEVER do something that stupid again.  Long sleek dark hair is pretty.  Short limp hair is not even close).  I gave up make up the day I realized it showed more wrinkles than it covered.  And short skirts (and shorts period for that matter) seem better placed on 20 yr old girls that aren't mine.  To help me hide my housemom fashion disaster I have adopted a sort of hippiesque vibe to my wardrobe (and it's fantastically comfortable!).  Camisoles, tanks, and ababy doll tees.  Cap sleeve button up blouses over the top (if it's not like a bajillion degrees that day), long flowing floor length skirts (often in tye die and floral patterns), and flat soled slip on shoes (though I did get a pair of silver rope soled Steve Madden flats for $10 in the find of the century!).  The obvious perk is no one expects a hippie to shower, have pretty hair, or wear make up.  I no longer have to shave my legs (at least until the leg hair gets so long that my legs tangle together as I try to walk) and I can pee outdoors and no one ever even notices  (By the way, if you ever want to hold your pee again, don't birth 6 mini minions and then have a hysterectomy.  Just trust me on this one.).  I have even started making my own hippie skirts out of miscellaneous fabric I find (usually from hideous thrift store sheets).  I am almost never with out a hooded cardigan.  I thought they looked classier than the traditional hoodie, but it has gotten to be such a problem that I am now considered the female equivalent to Mr. Rodgers.  I only pluck my eyebrows when I look like I have two caterpillars making out on my forehead and I am often rocking a bandanna instead of just using hair product (or a straw hat....  I LOVE my hats).  I call it all natural boho chic.  I am sure most the folks in the kitschy little Mayberry type town call it lazy.  Here, all the mom's have perfectly coiffed hair, professionally done fingernails (OMG!  Don't even get me started on my nails.  I grow things in dirt, mine are thrashed beyond recognition.), and make up applied heavily and expertly by the 7:30 am car line.  I usually still have sleep in my eyes when we come scooting up at 7:58.  If they run, they can still make it to class in time.  We call it A.M. aerobics.  My house looks like a mix between a junk yard and a yard sale, usually with bits of potting soil and random fabric bits strewn about...  and dog hair a plenty.  It's clean, just cluttered and, as always, with too much stuff.  When it comes down to it, we are kind of hippie, but in a lot of ways we're not.  I had an elderly woman at Wal*Mart tell me I was New School Old School.  I really like that.  It seems to be the best description.  I believe in saving our planet, growing our own food, being frugal, upcycling, DIY, and a job done right.  Hard work and dedication are fundamental to who I am.  I, by no means, am perfect.  I bite off more than I can chew and always have my plate piled higher than it seriously ought to be.  I loose my keys, my phone, and my temper.  I am slow to motivate and always short on time.  I work hard, play hard, laugh hard, and love hard.  I am frazzled, and scatterbrained, and have the worse memory.  I make promises I cannot keep.  I swear, HORRIBLY (sailors blush around me and truckers are taken aback).  I am a super mom without super powers who is pretty sure her kids are going to be scarred and f*cked up for life over at least a dozen things I've done or said horribly wrong without meaning too.  And while I ALWAYS love my kids, there are days I do NOT like them.  Yes, I said it.  I am strong and weak, brave and afraid, perfectly imperfect.  We protest GMO's and preach an unprocessed life, but still stop for fast food on occasion and have a few boxes of "quick" food in my freezer and pantry.  I can come across as ungrateful and hate to be wrong.  I don't always apologize when I should.  I am aloof and care far too much for my own good.  I am definitely my own worst enemy.  But I try, even if I fail the first 87,000,000,000 times.  I kill more plants than I grow.  I am a real true honest to goodness human being full of faults and dreams. My point is folks that we are all simply human.  We all do our best to be our best.  We have different beliefs and goals, but we're still just trying to survive the unsurvivable...  Life.  So the next time I yell at my kids, swear in public, do my grocery shopping in 2 day old PJ's and house slippers (another serious addiction...  I have at least a half dozen pair of slippers (including flip flop ones)), and chug down a container of chocolate ilk like it was the last one on earth remember that I am only trying to be the best me I can be.  I don't get upset if your you is better.  I'm cool with that.  I make no apologies to who I am...  and I certainly offer no refunds.  But I am a klutz and I will surely fall from any pedestal I am put on.  And, I'm very really pretty much sure...  I am also a lot like you - Pretty darn Awesome!  And all of that hot mess you see written on this page is exactly what makes us beautiful.  I think we ALL need to remind ourselves of that more often. 

So, today, love yourself for trying, succeeding, failing, being.  You deserve to be loved by yourself.  We all do.